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Of socializing
May. 26th, 2008 02:36 amIt's been on my mind recently -- finding the right way to meet new people, and finding ways to hang out with current friends.
Allow me to explore the various options. This is by no means objective. Basically, I decide whether I like it and why.
Watching Anime: I just left a loong comment on Jono's blog about anime culture and fandom -- http://www.evilbrainjono.net/cgi-bin/blog/showblog.cgi?showcomments=true#497. I hope people add to the discussion! (Alas, that means I'd have to check his actual blog to read the comments).
But it basically boils down to this:
Pros:
- Anime is getting more mainstream and therefore less stigmatized as "Weird"
- It is obscure like any other fandom, but it has a "low starting cost" -- you don't have to commit too much before you even start. No $400 video game consoles, no reading or watching requirement (I mean, certain "classics" are suggested but by no means required)
- It also has a good blend of light-heartedness and complexity that makes it a good viewing experience among friends -- you won't lose too much if you hold a side conversation or skip an episode altogether, but there's enough draw to engage you. Watching anime can take anywhere from 25 minutes to 3 hours, but it's flexible and there's variety. There's also little homework involved.
Cons:
- Anime isn't for us. It's for a small subset of youths in Japan. And sometimes it shows.
- There is the commitment of finishing a series, which is 26 episodes. Which takes time and dedication.
- Sometimes it's hard to agree on something everyone likes
- Sometimes you interact only with the anime and not with the fellow watchers. Especially in a stranger situation.
Gaming: No offense to anyone out there, but I find many games too ... involved. Involved with the game itself instead of the people, I mean. Playing time might be 1 hour. Or 6. And how well do you know that person outside of their gamer persona? That said, their gamer persona might be vast and interesting. Of course, my prejudice against games has also led to not-so-much experience in games.
My ideal game would be:
- easy to learn
- flexible in time spent
- more using of existing worlds/characters and less creating of new worlds/characters. (Whether in-game or out)
----- Maybe this point comes from me being really bad at being someone I'm not. Sure, I can create someone with a complex back story, but in the end, it'll just be a Sushu.
----- I'd also much rather hear a real story about your failed attempt at making baklava than hear about your long angsty elvish past.
----- Maybe what I really mean by this is that I don't want to bother with world and character creation and maintenance.
- allows me to be myself
- many changing alliances that also allow for fun interactions between players -- planning something together, or having to work together to get out of a conundrum. Competitive and yet cooperative.
- The process of the game is unique to the players and can be re-told and shared with relish to someone who wasn't there. (Not just "We played and I won," but "J is very good at leading petulant, grouchy people. He once saved me from falling off a cliff through clever use of dental floss.")
Heh. By the requirements so far, it sounds like I'd like a less-sadistic version of Truth or Dare. Something like "The levees broke and everything is starting to flood. Using only what you have in the house, what would you do?" And then I pick a card and it'll say something like "You must betray someone." or "You need to share a secret with a stranger." And then we're set to go.
Or maybe one way for me to enjoy gaming more is if creating the game is a group process. As in, that's the game --- to create a fun game for the group to play. That way, instead of floating an idea (like Aza's(?) "Indie Music Cred" game and everyone like it but no one doing anything about it, we all sit down and create it).
Loud Places with Music and Alcohol: Well, alcohol loosens the inhibitions and music is fun to dance to. Going with friends is a safety-net that keeps you from getting too lost and crazy, but not a lot of interaction happens outside of the physical. On the other hand, sometimes physical interaction is good. :) Our society makes it hard to appreciate that in other, saner situations.
Fooding: I love making food, I love eating food, and I love sharing food.
- Restaurants are good in that it's a relaxed place to sit down and talk without having to worry about dishes or burning the fish. But sometimes it's not as fun as making food.
- Making food can be fun or stressful, and the kitchen can be a very private place. You get to see how trust of power works with that person. In other words, it can be really good, or it can be really bad.
- Potlucks are awesome if it's not a picnic and you're in a well-stocked kitchen because it skirts by some of the kitchen-nazi issues by getting half of it done beforehand.
- "Coffee" is awesome because it's casual and there's the environment and time is flexible. Bubble Tea is more awesome because it's open later and I actually like the drinks.
- I think an awesome restaurant would be one where there are a bunch of booths and you're required to sit with people you don't know. It'd be a cool way to meet new people. Maybe you get to choose. Maybe it's random. You just get to meet new people! It'd be like a blind date except without the pressure.
Movies: Movies in the dark of the movie theater is not-so-fun because the only debrief time is afterwards. The whispering while sitting side-to-side just doesn't work. Movies with friends in a room is much like the anime-watching. Only difference is that you'd have a different one every time and they're 90 minutes long.
Man, I'm sure there's more. Help, please!
Allow me to explore the various options. This is by no means objective. Basically, I decide whether I like it and why.
Watching Anime: I just left a loong comment on Jono's blog about anime culture and fandom -- http://www.evilbrainjono.net/cgi-bin/blog/showblog.cgi?showcomments=true#497. I hope people add to the discussion! (Alas, that means I'd have to check his actual blog to read the comments).
But it basically boils down to this:
Pros:
- Anime is getting more mainstream and therefore less stigmatized as "Weird"
- It is obscure like any other fandom, but it has a "low starting cost" -- you don't have to commit too much before you even start. No $400 video game consoles, no reading or watching requirement (I mean, certain "classics" are suggested but by no means required)
- It also has a good blend of light-heartedness and complexity that makes it a good viewing experience among friends -- you won't lose too much if you hold a side conversation or skip an episode altogether, but there's enough draw to engage you. Watching anime can take anywhere from 25 minutes to 3 hours, but it's flexible and there's variety. There's also little homework involved.
Cons:
- Anime isn't for us. It's for a small subset of youths in Japan. And sometimes it shows.
- There is the commitment of finishing a series, which is 26 episodes. Which takes time and dedication.
- Sometimes it's hard to agree on something everyone likes
- Sometimes you interact only with the anime and not with the fellow watchers. Especially in a stranger situation.
Gaming: No offense to anyone out there, but I find many games too ... involved. Involved with the game itself instead of the people, I mean. Playing time might be 1 hour. Or 6. And how well do you know that person outside of their gamer persona? That said, their gamer persona might be vast and interesting. Of course, my prejudice against games has also led to not-so-much experience in games.
My ideal game would be:
- easy to learn
- flexible in time spent
- more using of existing worlds/characters and less creating of new worlds/characters. (Whether in-game or out)
----- Maybe this point comes from me being really bad at being someone I'm not. Sure, I can create someone with a complex back story, but in the end, it'll just be a Sushu.
----- I'd also much rather hear a real story about your failed attempt at making baklava than hear about your long angsty elvish past.
----- Maybe what I really mean by this is that I don't want to bother with world and character creation and maintenance.
- allows me to be myself
- many changing alliances that also allow for fun interactions between players -- planning something together, or having to work together to get out of a conundrum. Competitive and yet cooperative.
- The process of the game is unique to the players and can be re-told and shared with relish to someone who wasn't there. (Not just "We played and I won," but "J is very good at leading petulant, grouchy people. He once saved me from falling off a cliff through clever use of dental floss.")
Heh. By the requirements so far, it sounds like I'd like a less-sadistic version of Truth or Dare. Something like "The levees broke and everything is starting to flood. Using only what you have in the house, what would you do?" And then I pick a card and it'll say something like "You must betray someone." or "You need to share a secret with a stranger." And then we're set to go.
Or maybe one way for me to enjoy gaming more is if creating the game is a group process. As in, that's the game --- to create a fun game for the group to play. That way, instead of floating an idea (like Aza's(?) "Indie Music Cred" game and everyone like it but no one doing anything about it, we all sit down and create it).
Loud Places with Music and Alcohol: Well, alcohol loosens the inhibitions and music is fun to dance to. Going with friends is a safety-net that keeps you from getting too lost and crazy, but not a lot of interaction happens outside of the physical. On the other hand, sometimes physical interaction is good. :) Our society makes it hard to appreciate that in other, saner situations.
Fooding: I love making food, I love eating food, and I love sharing food.
- Restaurants are good in that it's a relaxed place to sit down and talk without having to worry about dishes or burning the fish. But sometimes it's not as fun as making food.
- Making food can be fun or stressful, and the kitchen can be a very private place. You get to see how trust of power works with that person. In other words, it can be really good, or it can be really bad.
- Potlucks are awesome if it's not a picnic and you're in a well-stocked kitchen because it skirts by some of the kitchen-nazi issues by getting half of it done beforehand.
- "Coffee" is awesome because it's casual and there's the environment and time is flexible. Bubble Tea is more awesome because it's open later and I actually like the drinks.
- I think an awesome restaurant would be one where there are a bunch of booths and you're required to sit with people you don't know. It'd be a cool way to meet new people. Maybe you get to choose. Maybe it's random. You just get to meet new people! It'd be like a blind date except without the pressure.
Movies: Movies in the dark of the movie theater is not-so-fun because the only debrief time is afterwards. The whispering while sitting side-to-side just doesn't work. Movies with friends in a room is much like the anime-watching. Only difference is that you'd have a different one every time and they're 90 minutes long.
Man, I'm sure there's more. Help, please!
