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Jun. 12th, 2003 02:24 amDo I internalize too many things? I just heard my roommate tell one of her friends about things that I might feel, but probably won't say, or at least not express so explicitly. I seem to have a very limited list of things taht I whine about. Is it because I don't really care enough about the other things, or is it that it's just not on the "public expression" list? Sometimes I want people to listen, but when they really do, I just end up getting scared of what I'll say, so I just shut up. But that's natural, right? Everyone has their own little way of interacting with society. But what Jean and her groupie does is be nice to people, but have a very defined friends group that they actually open up to. I do have friends that I can be open and relaxed with, but there are some things that I just don't say, often not even to myself. (And those who know me know that I carry on very robust conversational relationship with myself). Is there even a point of being totally open? After all, who wants to know my thoughts and feelings, 24/7? Well, besides me. Maybe what we're really looking for in a soul mate is someone with the potential to open up fully to. Um, duh, Sushu. Obviously I'm just a very sappy fool who likes reiterating things from romance novels and badly written fanfiction.
On a happier note, I've been looking back and realizing how glad I am to have come to UChicago instead of Berkeley. I mean, just to experience the city of Chicago is worth it, not to mention the people of UChicago. To be able to leave Bay Area, and to leave California has been very freeing, quite overwhelming at times, always exhiliarating, and something that I'm very grateful for. Even though I am hardly a brand new Sushu, at least I know that what I'm dealing with is me. So huzzah for this school year, with all its blunders and embarrassments, chance meetings and lunchtime arrangements, all the in-jokes and long hours on the CTA, and all the amusement generated by my housemates. And thanks to LJ, continued contact with the PA folks. Contrary to my expectations, I didn't go all out and do all the things you're supposed to do at college: get stoned, get drunk, get laid. But I do think I'm slowly acquiring the art of friend-making and friend-keeping. Sorta. ::pokes mousie:: So overall it's been a great year. Now if only my papers would write themselves. (Like Rita Skeeter's quill!)
On a happier note, I've been looking back and realizing how glad I am to have come to UChicago instead of Berkeley. I mean, just to experience the city of Chicago is worth it, not to mention the people of UChicago. To be able to leave Bay Area, and to leave California has been very freeing, quite overwhelming at times, always exhiliarating, and something that I'm very grateful for. Even though I am hardly a brand new Sushu, at least I know that what I'm dealing with is me. So huzzah for this school year, with all its blunders and embarrassments, chance meetings and lunchtime arrangements, all the in-jokes and long hours on the CTA, and all the amusement generated by my housemates. And thanks to LJ, continued contact with the PA folks. Contrary to my expectations, I didn't go all out and do all the things you're supposed to do at college: get stoned, get drunk, get laid. But I do think I'm slowly acquiring the art of friend-making and friend-keeping. Sorta. ::pokes mousie:: So overall it's been a great year. Now if only my papers would write themselves. (Like Rita Skeeter's quill!)
