summercomfort (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
summercomfort) wrote2025-01-01 09:17 am
summercomfort) wrote2025-01-01 09:17 am
Year in Review / New Year's Resolutions
2024 has been a weird year, and I find that I can't quite properly encapsulate it or create some sort of narrative, which is probably why I've been procrastinating on writing this.
But traditions must, so here's a bullet pointed list:
- New Fandom! Wow I spent a lot of time this year binge-reading Batfam fics. I think it started around February? And every step of the way I'm like "this can't possibly last" as I'm like, reading multiple 90k fics in a day. But somehow I'm still here. No longer reading multiple 90k fics a day, but still reading at a larger volume than I did for the prev 5+ years. I feel like my intense fic binging was only this bad in 2014-2016 at the height of Cap fandom, and maybe not even. A part of me wonders if part of the fic reading is an excuse to not interact with other humans (at school, at home, etc). And if so, whether it's justified (as in, I've been feeling peopled-out a lot more, and this is a way to reset to baseline), or whether it's empty calories (as in, it's easier than the alternatives, and a crutch at a moment where I *should* be interacting with my friends and family and building up those relationships).
- Relatedly, I feel new creative energy, which is pretty exciting! I did some fanarts for the first time in forever, and it felt fun and easy, which it hasn't felt since... 2021 or so. I think not letting myself take it too seriously has helped. I think part of the problem has been that I've been trapped in the Valley of Suck for a long time, and not just about drawing feet or something, but rather about comics in general. So pushing myself out from that is hard. Especially when doing what feels familiar and that you know works is ... well, safer. Like, I know I can make my vision for a comic happen. It's just ... no longer creatively exciting, and feels more like a chore. Like... for so long I've felt like I'm just pushing myself to create, and the work didn't bring me joy, and finishing it didn't bring me joy either. Which is kind of crummy. But I think, in the last few months, I've finally recaptured some of that feeling of fun and excitement. I still haven't fully diagnosed the "why" of it (is it getting more downtime at home? is it that I've binge-consumed so much that I finally feel ready for output? is it that I have something shiny and new? is it that I'm trying to care less about the end result?) Regardless, I'm glad that I have new creative energy, and hopefully I can harness it to write and draw more. I recently wrote a batfam fic that I'm quite happy about. :)
- I went into this year pretty worried about Spouse. They had just quit their prev job, and was on the job market at a time when (a) the job market for their field ain't great, and (b) it's an election year. So I was really worried about their mental health. (flashback to 2012 and the beanbag of doom) But they got adhd meds and spent 6 months doing the super scary thing of networking and job hunting! And I'm so proud of them! And then they got a job as the CTO of a startup company! Yay! But then, the second half of the year hasn't been great for them. The election anxiety really started cranking up, and the election results definitely made things a lot worse. The startup that they're working at has had a lot of failed demos and frustrating work collaboration, *and* is now out of money. Plus the Trump term will not be good for their industry overall (say goodbye to DOE funding and various subsidies and regulatory support.) My takeaway from all this is that maybe spouse should take a break from working in the industry. To wit: (a) the type of position that spouse's resume is optimized for is startup CTO, in an industry that is majority startups. That makes it really hard to find a job because you basically have to talk to the startup founder *before* any jobs are posted (because you'd be the one writing the job postings). (b) Being in an early startup is very stressful, with a lot of hustling to make a demo and hoping you can find a niche, all while money is constantly running out. (c) the industry is in the frontlines of a lot of political/climate news, so spouse is basically rawdogging the doom and triggering himself. Anyway, after some long talks, spouse is open to exploring other fields, so I'm going to see if I can help them with some teacher jobs or an electrician apprenticeship or something.
- It's great when me and spouse get to spend time together, but that hasn't been happening at the quantity and quality that we want. Something to look into.
- I should probably do a more thorough auditing of our finances so that I can feel more confident about all of our spending.
- Miss Rutabaga has continued to grow! Our trip to China was a major stressor for her this summer, which is kind of a bummer, but lessons learned, etc. I decided not to put her in Chinese School this year (and taking a year off myself), and have been trying to teach her Chinese at home on my own. There's some plusses and minuses -- we haven't been able to keep up the consistency of 30 min per night that I wanted, and Miss Rutabaga is increasingly resistant to Chinese homework. On the other hand, I think her character recognition skills are getting stronger, and at least there's a feeling of a system and a method, and not just rote memorization. Her speaking has been deteriorating because English just comes more easily and has more vocab. Oh! Maybe I can find some sort of Chinese youtube channel for her to watch? She loves sassy gamebros (ugh) and informative tidbits (yay). In the summer China trip, she spent 2 weeks just with me (spouse was in US), then 2 weeks just with spouse (I was sick), and since then she's definitely been spending a lot more time with spouse (because I get home tired and unable to engage). Something to fix so that spouse has more self time and I have more Rutabaga time. I had recently proposed a "draw in our respective sketchooks" activity but now it's somehow turned into a her-and-spouse activity, so... I guess she just enjoys doing that stuff more with spouse?
- Work continues apace. One downside this year is that because I have morning classes instead of afternoon classes, it has really messed with my food intake and my grading time. (Before, I'd get breakfast at a coffeeshop at 8am and do grading, then show up to school around 10am and do lesson planning, snack through lunch, then go home for a dinner around 6pm. Now, I do lesson planning and teaching until 2pm or so, often without a proper breakfast and with lots of snacking, and then grade at a boba shop until 4pm, which then makes me full until 9pm, where I'd make myself some ramen.) Anyway, the new system isn't great for my health, but I haven't quite figured out a new way of pacing myself. :/
Anyways, overall there's ups and downs in everything, hence not super easy to craft some sort of overall vibe/narrative from.
Oh hey, I feel like I should document this more officially, but the slang I've been hearing a lot of this year is:
- rizz/rizzler (short for charisma) -- though that's on its way out
- cooked/cooking ("I'm cooked" = "I'm fucked" and "I'm cooking" = "I'm on a roll")
- fit/fitted up (short for outfit) -- though I feel like this has been around for a few years
- doomscroll to mean "I can't stop scrolling social media even though I know it's bad for me", which I'm unhappy about because it used to mean "I'm scrolling through the most doom/depressing news and it's horrible but I can't stop"
Words of the past:
- skibbidy (2023) has thankfully gone away
- flex (2019) I really miss
- yeet (2018) still manifests occasionally
- lit (2017) is completely gone, perhaps replaced by "cooks"
- slay (2021) is now only used ironically, if at all
- no one remembers the dab (2013) or YOLO (2014)
And now, for New Year's Resolutions!
First, let's look at how I did on last year's resolutions:
1. Lose 7 lbs. Oof, I was doing good at first, but now I'm actually back up to ~160, thanks to all the food shenanigans this semester. But I shouldn't feel too bad about it, and I'm still getting regular periods (sort of), so C.
2. Figure out what's up with this Mystery Pain.
Oh! Was the gall bladder removal just this year? I thought it was the year before! Anyway feels so long ago! Anyway, there was way too much medical runaround and extended pain for it to merit an A, but overall I've been fine sans gall bladder, so I'm going to give it an A-.
3. Do more activities together as a couple and as a family. Hmm... I just had a nice dinner out as the fam last night, and we've had several family outings (my 2024 family photo album has a higher number of pics with all 3 of us). But I do still feel a greater sense of disconnect, so B
4. write 2 fics. I did! ::checks AO3:: I've written 1 Witcher one, and 3 Batfam ones. That's 4 whole fics! A+!
So overall that averages to... ::squints:: a B+? Not bad overall.
And now, Resolutions for 2024!
1. Lose 7 lbs. Sigh, back at it again. I'm healthier in the 145-152 range, so I gotta get at it. One of the things I'm definitely planning on is asking for a different teaching schedule for the next school year.
2. Help spouse weather the current transition. There's a bunch going on, re: mental health and job changes.
3. Go to at least 1 new place per month. Fam really needs enrichment, so I should get off my "I like everything to be the same" ass and go places. Could just be like... exploring a new downtown or going on a new hike, but something the break up the routine.
4. Be creative during your daily downtime. I think writing 2 fics would be more achievable, but it's probably better for me to be creative more regularly instead of using all of my downtime on reading fics.
5. Find an activity to do with Miss Rutabaga that isn't Chinese HW. Maybe cooking? or drawing? or something else? Just something that we can do regularly that is fun for the both of us.
But traditions must, so here's a bullet pointed list:
- New Fandom! Wow I spent a lot of time this year binge-reading Batfam fics. I think it started around February? And every step of the way I'm like "this can't possibly last" as I'm like, reading multiple 90k fics in a day. But somehow I'm still here. No longer reading multiple 90k fics a day, but still reading at a larger volume than I did for the prev 5+ years. I feel like my intense fic binging was only this bad in 2014-2016 at the height of Cap fandom, and maybe not even. A part of me wonders if part of the fic reading is an excuse to not interact with other humans (at school, at home, etc). And if so, whether it's justified (as in, I've been feeling peopled-out a lot more, and this is a way to reset to baseline), or whether it's empty calories (as in, it's easier than the alternatives, and a crutch at a moment where I *should* be interacting with my friends and family and building up those relationships).
- Relatedly, I feel new creative energy, which is pretty exciting! I did some fanarts for the first time in forever, and it felt fun and easy, which it hasn't felt since... 2021 or so. I think not letting myself take it too seriously has helped. I think part of the problem has been that I've been trapped in the Valley of Suck for a long time, and not just about drawing feet or something, but rather about comics in general. So pushing myself out from that is hard. Especially when doing what feels familiar and that you know works is ... well, safer. Like, I know I can make my vision for a comic happen. It's just ... no longer creatively exciting, and feels more like a chore. Like... for so long I've felt like I'm just pushing myself to create, and the work didn't bring me joy, and finishing it didn't bring me joy either. Which is kind of crummy. But I think, in the last few months, I've finally recaptured some of that feeling of fun and excitement. I still haven't fully diagnosed the "why" of it (is it getting more downtime at home? is it that I've binge-consumed so much that I finally feel ready for output? is it that I have something shiny and new? is it that I'm trying to care less about the end result?) Regardless, I'm glad that I have new creative energy, and hopefully I can harness it to write and draw more. I recently wrote a batfam fic that I'm quite happy about. :)
- I went into this year pretty worried about Spouse. They had just quit their prev job, and was on the job market at a time when (a) the job market for their field ain't great, and (b) it's an election year. So I was really worried about their mental health. (flashback to 2012 and the beanbag of doom) But they got adhd meds and spent 6 months doing the super scary thing of networking and job hunting! And I'm so proud of them! And then they got a job as the CTO of a startup company! Yay! But then, the second half of the year hasn't been great for them. The election anxiety really started cranking up, and the election results definitely made things a lot worse. The startup that they're working at has had a lot of failed demos and frustrating work collaboration, *and* is now out of money. Plus the Trump term will not be good for their industry overall (say goodbye to DOE funding and various subsidies and regulatory support.) My takeaway from all this is that maybe spouse should take a break from working in the industry. To wit: (a) the type of position that spouse's resume is optimized for is startup CTO, in an industry that is majority startups. That makes it really hard to find a job because you basically have to talk to the startup founder *before* any jobs are posted (because you'd be the one writing the job postings). (b) Being in an early startup is very stressful, with a lot of hustling to make a demo and hoping you can find a niche, all while money is constantly running out. (c) the industry is in the frontlines of a lot of political/climate news, so spouse is basically rawdogging the doom and triggering himself. Anyway, after some long talks, spouse is open to exploring other fields, so I'm going to see if I can help them with some teacher jobs or an electrician apprenticeship or something.
- It's great when me and spouse get to spend time together, but that hasn't been happening at the quantity and quality that we want. Something to look into.
- I should probably do a more thorough auditing of our finances so that I can feel more confident about all of our spending.
- Miss Rutabaga has continued to grow! Our trip to China was a major stressor for her this summer, which is kind of a bummer, but lessons learned, etc. I decided not to put her in Chinese School this year (and taking a year off myself), and have been trying to teach her Chinese at home on my own. There's some plusses and minuses -- we haven't been able to keep up the consistency of 30 min per night that I wanted, and Miss Rutabaga is increasingly resistant to Chinese homework. On the other hand, I think her character recognition skills are getting stronger, and at least there's a feeling of a system and a method, and not just rote memorization. Her speaking has been deteriorating because English just comes more easily and has more vocab. Oh! Maybe I can find some sort of Chinese youtube channel for her to watch? She loves sassy gamebros (ugh) and informative tidbits (yay). In the summer China trip, she spent 2 weeks just with me (spouse was in US), then 2 weeks just with spouse (I was sick), and since then she's definitely been spending a lot more time with spouse (because I get home tired and unable to engage). Something to fix so that spouse has more self time and I have more Rutabaga time. I had recently proposed a "draw in our respective sketchooks" activity but now it's somehow turned into a her-and-spouse activity, so... I guess she just enjoys doing that stuff more with spouse?
- Work continues apace. One downside this year is that because I have morning classes instead of afternoon classes, it has really messed with my food intake and my grading time. (Before, I'd get breakfast at a coffeeshop at 8am and do grading, then show up to school around 10am and do lesson planning, snack through lunch, then go home for a dinner around 6pm. Now, I do lesson planning and teaching until 2pm or so, often without a proper breakfast and with lots of snacking, and then grade at a boba shop until 4pm, which then makes me full until 9pm, where I'd make myself some ramen.) Anyway, the new system isn't great for my health, but I haven't quite figured out a new way of pacing myself. :/
Anyways, overall there's ups and downs in everything, hence not super easy to craft some sort of overall vibe/narrative from.
Oh hey, I feel like I should document this more officially, but the slang I've been hearing a lot of this year is:
- rizz/rizzler (short for charisma) -- though that's on its way out
- cooked/cooking ("I'm cooked" = "I'm fucked" and "I'm cooking" = "I'm on a roll")
- fit/fitted up (short for outfit) -- though I feel like this has been around for a few years
- doomscroll to mean "I can't stop scrolling social media even though I know it's bad for me", which I'm unhappy about because it used to mean "I'm scrolling through the most doom/depressing news and it's horrible but I can't stop"
Words of the past:
- skibbidy (2023) has thankfully gone away
- flex (2019) I really miss
- yeet (2018) still manifests occasionally
- lit (2017) is completely gone, perhaps replaced by "cooks"
- slay (2021) is now only used ironically, if at all
- no one remembers the dab (2013) or YOLO (2014)
And now, for New Year's Resolutions!
First, let's look at how I did on last year's resolutions:
1. Lose 7 lbs. Oof, I was doing good at first, but now I'm actually back up to ~160, thanks to all the food shenanigans this semester. But I shouldn't feel too bad about it, and I'm still getting regular periods (sort of), so C.
2. Figure out what's up with this Mystery Pain.
Oh! Was the gall bladder removal just this year? I thought it was the year before! Anyway feels so long ago! Anyway, there was way too much medical runaround and extended pain for it to merit an A, but overall I've been fine sans gall bladder, so I'm going to give it an A-.
3. Do more activities together as a couple and as a family. Hmm... I just had a nice dinner out as the fam last night, and we've had several family outings (my 2024 family photo album has a higher number of pics with all 3 of us). But I do still feel a greater sense of disconnect, so B
4. write 2 fics. I did! ::checks AO3:: I've written 1 Witcher one, and 3 Batfam ones. That's 4 whole fics! A+!
So overall that averages to... ::squints:: a B+? Not bad overall.
And now, Resolutions for 2024!
1. Lose 7 lbs. Sigh, back at it again. I'm healthier in the 145-152 range, so I gotta get at it. One of the things I'm definitely planning on is asking for a different teaching schedule for the next school year.
2. Help spouse weather the current transition. There's a bunch going on, re: mental health and job changes.
3. Go to at least 1 new place per month. Fam really needs enrichment, so I should get off my "I like everything to be the same" ass and go places. Could just be like... exploring a new downtown or going on a new hike, but something the break up the routine.
4. Be creative during your daily downtime. I think writing 2 fics would be more achievable, but it's probably better for me to be creative more regularly instead of using all of my downtime on reading fics.
5. Find an activity to do with Miss Rutabaga that isn't Chinese HW. Maybe cooking? or drawing? or something else? Just something that we can do regularly that is fun for the both of us.
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