summercomfort (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
summercomfort) wrote2023-05-13 10:57 pm
summercomfort) wrote2023-05-13 10:57 pm
(no subject)
Time always feels weird around this time of year. In a month's time, I'm going to be done with the school year, but that's still a whole month away -- I still need to finish grading the Mongol essays and do the Asian Art Museum field trip and then there's the whole 6-day DC trip and making costumes for Fanime and then more grading and evals, plus the wrap-up for the Chinese School school year as well. And yet I also only have 2 weeks left of actual classes, which translates to 6 days for my freshmen, 5 days for my sophomores, and 2 days for my seniors. It's both too much and too little, this run-up to the summer.
Yesterday I went to our school musical production of Something Rotten! It was very fun. The kids did a great job with the costumes and the dancing, and I got to watch a musical I haven't seen before! In typical fashion for our school, half the kids on stage were genderqueer, which honestly made everything better. After I got home I looked up a video to Will Power, where Shakespeare is basically a rock star singing to screaming fans, and I'm like ... why is this Shakespeare not a nonbinary person with chin-length curls and an impressive swagger? Anyways, between the kiddo and COVID, it's been 3+ years since I've went to watch a school play, so it's good to actually get back into that! :D
Today was a long day. We went up for taiko, but Kiddo was having a bad time with Chinese homework, so I took her to the library, and when I got back, the taiko group had decided to move on with practice without me, so then I went back to the library and basically spent all the taiko time at the library with the kiddo. Then spouse stayed to help with performance prep (and do the evening performance that I couldn't attend due to Chinese School), while I drove the kiddo home, did lunch, shopping, finishing the Chinese homework, then Chinese school and then dinner, etc. It was a long day of kid-wrangling, which... was honestly fine. Kid was a good kid all day. It's just that ... I feel like I've been pretty burnt out this week and when I'm tired, one of the first things to go is the ability to deal with social situations. I felt really excluded from taiko today but I didn't know how to talk about it or even assert myself. And then it was all the logistics and kiddo management and teaching, all of which is very much about Identifying What the other human(s) need from me at the moment and then guiding them. A lot of "being on" and masquerading as a competent adult. So by the time spouse got home I just wanted to hide in a corner and have a proper sulk. I think he wanted to hang out and tell me about his exciting day but I ... didn't. I know I should care about interacting with the spouse but today was one of those days where I feel like I'm just barely mustering the emotional energy to do the adulting stuff.
I think I'm falling into that trap of "I'm tired from peopling so I'm going to stay up late for some self time" --> "I'm tired from lack of sleep which reduces my ability to deal with people".
I guess the answer is more sleep and more self time. When I'm like this, noise really bothers me.
Yesterday I went to our school musical production of Something Rotten! It was very fun. The kids did a great job with the costumes and the dancing, and I got to watch a musical I haven't seen before! In typical fashion for our school, half the kids on stage were genderqueer, which honestly made everything better. After I got home I looked up a video to Will Power, where Shakespeare is basically a rock star singing to screaming fans, and I'm like ... why is this Shakespeare not a nonbinary person with chin-length curls and an impressive swagger? Anyways, between the kiddo and COVID, it's been 3+ years since I've went to watch a school play, so it's good to actually get back into that! :D
Today was a long day. We went up for taiko, but Kiddo was having a bad time with Chinese homework, so I took her to the library, and when I got back, the taiko group had decided to move on with practice without me, so then I went back to the library and basically spent all the taiko time at the library with the kiddo. Then spouse stayed to help with performance prep (and do the evening performance that I couldn't attend due to Chinese School), while I drove the kiddo home, did lunch, shopping, finishing the Chinese homework, then Chinese school and then dinner, etc. It was a long day of kid-wrangling, which... was honestly fine. Kid was a good kid all day. It's just that ... I feel like I've been pretty burnt out this week and when I'm tired, one of the first things to go is the ability to deal with social situations. I felt really excluded from taiko today but I didn't know how to talk about it or even assert myself. And then it was all the logistics and kiddo management and teaching, all of which is very much about Identifying What the other human(s) need from me at the moment and then guiding them. A lot of "being on" and masquerading as a competent adult. So by the time spouse got home I just wanted to hide in a corner and have a proper sulk. I think he wanted to hang out and tell me about his exciting day but I ... didn't. I know I should care about interacting with the spouse but today was one of those days where I feel like I'm just barely mustering the emotional energy to do the adulting stuff.
I think I'm falling into that trap of "I'm tired from peopling so I'm going to stay up late for some self time" --> "I'm tired from lack of sleep which reduces my ability to deal with people".
I guess the answer is more sleep and more self time. When I'm like this, noise really bothers me.
no subject
I guess the answer is more sleep and more self time. When I'm like this, noise really bothers me.
Omg, I hear you! *sympathetic hugs*
no subject