summercomfort (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
summercomfort) wrote2019-01-25 10:06 pm
summercomfort) wrote2019-01-25 10:06 pm
(no subject)
I'm tired. More so than usual.
Sometimes I talk about this with Hoosband -- that neither of us know how to stop. I mean, he's out of the house 7am-6:30pm. I'm out of the house 7:30am-6:15pm. There's work and child care, and then of course we also want to do art and fandom and comics club and taiko and and and. "You know what my coworkers-with-young-children do?" I'd ask Hoosband. "They don't have a bajillion hobbies. They live 15 minutes from work, not an hour. One of the two parents works 9-4pm, or doesn't work at all." We'd look at each other and acknowledge that ... nope, that's not us. Instead we chug along at 110%, and dream about when we can have a week off without the babbu.
But maybe I should do *not quite so much*. Maybe not mod 3 events, for example. (I say, as I plot out more things to draw and more opinions to type up and more classes to teach. So much of charter and private schools is built off of teacher overwork.)
While my hair falls out and my stomach protests.
I talk to my students about anxiety spirals and sadness spirals, but maybe I should also talk about productivity spirals, because getting stuff done gives me such a high -- being in the zone, identifying tasks and checking things off. (Is this a part of human-ness that capitalism has harnessed?)
Anyway, I'm tired and blabbing incoherently. Hoosband is out of town for 6 days.
Tomorrow I have vague plans to go to the Zoo with the babbu, and then Sunday is another work day, because my job loves taking my non-work hours.
Sometimes I talk about this with Hoosband -- that neither of us know how to stop. I mean, he's out of the house 7am-6:30pm. I'm out of the house 7:30am-6:15pm. There's work and child care, and then of course we also want to do art and fandom and comics club and taiko and and and. "You know what my coworkers-with-young-children do?" I'd ask Hoosband. "They don't have a bajillion hobbies. They live 15 minutes from work, not an hour. One of the two parents works 9-4pm, or doesn't work at all." We'd look at each other and acknowledge that ... nope, that's not us. Instead we chug along at 110%, and dream about when we can have a week off without the babbu.
But maybe I should do *not quite so much*. Maybe not mod 3 events, for example. (I say, as I plot out more things to draw and more opinions to type up and more classes to teach. So much of charter and private schools is built off of teacher overwork.)
While my hair falls out and my stomach protests.
I talk to my students about anxiety spirals and sadness spirals, but maybe I should also talk about productivity spirals, because getting stuff done gives me such a high -- being in the zone, identifying tasks and checking things off. (Is this a part of human-ness that capitalism has harnessed?)
Anyway, I'm tired and blabbing incoherently. Hoosband is out of town for 6 days.
Tomorrow I have vague plans to go to the Zoo with the babbu, and then Sunday is another work day, because my job loves taking my non-work hours.
no subject
I know for me, a lot of times I'd feel guilty when I needed rest - "oh I'm being lazy, I could be doing all these other things I want to do", but without the rest, I'm not present, I'm just getting through, and I'm worn all the way down.
no subject
yeah. it's just so hard to stop. Especially since a lot of the time, "not doing x" just means "doing childcare"