summercomfort (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
summercomfort) wrote2017-10-10 09:11 pm
summercomfort) wrote2017-10-10 09:11 pm
(no subject)
I'm having a bad brain moment.
It used to be, if life is busy and hard, I'd just say, "September is a hard month. I just have to see it through, and October will be easier."
But now... October isn't easier. Neither was August, July, June, May.... There's just stopped being easy months.
When things get busy, other things get squeezed out -- I lose time to spend with my husband, I lose time to zone out and shore up my mental/emotional well-being, and that busyness overflows into my immediate family, as well -- if I need extra time on work, or an extra nap to have energy for something, it means that my husband (or my parents) have to give up some of *their* time and energy to watch the baby, or to deal with my flailing.
And I'm really tired of begging my family for childcare because I'm overcommitted. I'm super grateful to them, but it's not fair for them. Especially Jono, who has a busy life of his own and has given up too much.
I feel like I need to cut more things out of my life, and stop taking on new things. Then I wouldn't be so stressed, and also would be less of a burden on everyone else.
I think I want to start with some data collection -- track how I spend my 9pm-midnight baby sleep time, and how much baby care is spilling out to my husband or my parents. Simultaneously, I need to build in more of a buffer -- don't always schedule things with the assumption that things will work out down to the minute.
It used to be, if life is busy and hard, I'd just say, "September is a hard month. I just have to see it through, and October will be easier."
But now... October isn't easier. Neither was August, July, June, May.... There's just stopped being easy months.
When things get busy, other things get squeezed out -- I lose time to spend with my husband, I lose time to zone out and shore up my mental/emotional well-being, and that busyness overflows into my immediate family, as well -- if I need extra time on work, or an extra nap to have energy for something, it means that my husband (or my parents) have to give up some of *their* time and energy to watch the baby, or to deal with my flailing.
And I'm really tired of begging my family for childcare because I'm overcommitted. I'm super grateful to them, but it's not fair for them. Especially Jono, who has a busy life of his own and has given up too much.
I feel like I need to cut more things out of my life, and stop taking on new things. Then I wouldn't be so stressed, and also would be less of a burden on everyone else.
I think I want to start with some data collection -- track how I spend my 9pm-midnight baby sleep time, and how much baby care is spilling out to my husband or my parents. Simultaneously, I need to build in more of a buffer -- don't always schedule things with the assumption that things will work out down to the minute.
no subject