summercomfort (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
summercomfort) wrote2016-01-01 09:19 pm
summercomfort) wrote2016-01-01 09:19 pm
New Year's Resolutions 2016
Well, just got through 2 taiko performances in 24 hours (followed by 3 judicious hours of schlumping). So it's resolution time!
2015 Resolutions: How did I do?
Handle life changes gracefully. We might be moving again, Jono's life rhythm will probably change significantly regardless if he chooses work or grad school, if the baby thing manages to happen that'll be a life change too.
B+? I think I've managed all right? I gave the living in Oakland thing a fair shake, and I think if the BART transit didn't have unexpected downsides for Jono, too, we might have stayed up there. It's a bit hard to tell whether I've been graceful about the whole pregnancy thing, though -- from my perspective, I think my first trimester involved a lot of whining and pettiness about food, and my second trimester involved a lot of defensiveness and attempts to distance myself from the pregnancy in an attempt to assert that "I'm still me, dammit." Which probably came across as somewhat callous toward the rutabaga. Now that I've entered my 3rd trimester, I might go back to whining again? Specifically about back aches, I think? But once again, it's hard for me to tell. Jono has been an absolute saint, so patient and supportive and just rolling with everything. <3333
Make Chinese School work something that I'm proud of. I'm not sure I'm ready to take ownership of it -- in my heart of hearts I'm still a high school history teacher. But since I'm spending 2 years on this stuff, I should make sure it's something that I can look to with pride and a sense of accomplishment, and not embarrassment.
A. I'm definitely feeling more confident and in control in the manager role. There are still communication things that I still need to work on, and I still miss teaching, but at least I'm no longer chomping at the bit to get out, and I have concrete ideas of things that need to be done.
Stay creative, especially re: Tisquantum. I think if I work at a consistent pace, I'll be able to finish Tisquantum this year. Then it'll be a thing that I'll have under my belt! There's also the anthology our comics club is putting together. :D!
C-. This has been a really bad year for me, creativity-wise. If I were to characterize it with one word, it'd be "wallowing." It's felt like the way it did in summer of 2012 when I was working on Brambles and not feeling motivated. I don't really like the comic that I made for the Hollow anthology, and I don't really like the current chapter of Tisquantum. I've spat out quick fanwork that would get some quick jolt of response that felt good at the time, but seems particularly fleeting in retrospect. (It always seems like I'm either pandering to some nebulous fandom or pandering to some guilty pleasure.) When I ask myself, "what is the last thing I made that I can point to with pride?" I... I'm not sure? Definitely not anything from 2015. I was talking with Jono yesterday, and I think part of it is that I no longer get to use the curricular design part of my brain?
So I keep distracting myself, or letting myself be distracted. (For example, when I hit this question in writing this, I went and spent an hour dilly-dallying on the internet. That was an hour I could have spent working on Tisquantum.)
Keep friendships fruitful. Between my HS friends, college friends, teacher friends, and now my online friends, that's a lot of people I can neglect! I shouldn't do that. But I shouldn't drive myself insane trying to maintain all of those relationships, either. I think I want to take a Daoist attitude towards it.
B. I've kept moderately up to date with various friends, with the exception of my teacher friends and UCJAS folks. That ... is a pity. It's just that the longer I'm away from school, the more foreign it feels. :( That said, I love our comics club, and I love our taiko group, and we've had a good bunch of folks visit. So... some wins, some losses.
Overall: B. :/
-----
2016 Resolutions
Be more focused. I can be productive when I'm focused, and I used to be much better at this. I think part of this will involve facing my creative frustrations more directly. And part of this will involve being more discriminating with how I spend my time on the internet -- less taking the lazy/easy path of reading a fic or scrolling through tumblr (so many temporary highs), and more purposeful work.
Do good for the baby, myself, and the fams. Rutabaga is dropping late March, after which is the physical recovery process which is so important for Chinese. Life will kind of take a break then, and in a way, reset. I'm hoping that the reset process will go well, not just for myself, but also for Jono, my parents, etc. I feel like this will be the primary focus for at least the first half of 2016. I'm not aiming for perfection or success, but I should make an earnest effort of it.
Look at teaching opportunities. By this time next year, Rutabaga will be 8 months old! The timing is a bit awkward re: teaching job search, but I should look into part-time opportunities that maybe start in the middle of the next school year. And also start getting back in touch with school stuff and not just hiding in a corner like a shy gazelle.
Diagnose the creativity problem. Is it that I don't feel creatively satisfied with comics in general? Is it an art rut or a storytelling rut or something else entirely? Does it mean I should experiment more? Or stick to my guns and finish what I've started? Is it simply a case of not being focused enough and not drawing enough? Or is there a larger creative sense of ennui that I need to ferret out? Anyways, I should try to diagnose this.
2015 Resolutions: How did I do?
Handle life changes gracefully. We might be moving again, Jono's life rhythm will probably change significantly regardless if he chooses work or grad school, if the baby thing manages to happen that'll be a life change too.
B+? I think I've managed all right? I gave the living in Oakland thing a fair shake, and I think if the BART transit didn't have unexpected downsides for Jono, too, we might have stayed up there. It's a bit hard to tell whether I've been graceful about the whole pregnancy thing, though -- from my perspective, I think my first trimester involved a lot of whining and pettiness about food, and my second trimester involved a lot of defensiveness and attempts to distance myself from the pregnancy in an attempt to assert that "I'm still me, dammit." Which probably came across as somewhat callous toward the rutabaga. Now that I've entered my 3rd trimester, I might go back to whining again? Specifically about back aches, I think? But once again, it's hard for me to tell. Jono has been an absolute saint, so patient and supportive and just rolling with everything. <3333
Make Chinese School work something that I'm proud of. I'm not sure I'm ready to take ownership of it -- in my heart of hearts I'm still a high school history teacher. But since I'm spending 2 years on this stuff, I should make sure it's something that I can look to with pride and a sense of accomplishment, and not embarrassment.
A. I'm definitely feeling more confident and in control in the manager role. There are still communication things that I still need to work on, and I still miss teaching, but at least I'm no longer chomping at the bit to get out, and I have concrete ideas of things that need to be done.
Stay creative, especially re: Tisquantum. I think if I work at a consistent pace, I'll be able to finish Tisquantum this year. Then it'll be a thing that I'll have under my belt! There's also the anthology our comics club is putting together. :D!
C-. This has been a really bad year for me, creativity-wise. If I were to characterize it with one word, it'd be "wallowing." It's felt like the way it did in summer of 2012 when I was working on Brambles and not feeling motivated. I don't really like the comic that I made for the Hollow anthology, and I don't really like the current chapter of Tisquantum. I've spat out quick fanwork that would get some quick jolt of response that felt good at the time, but seems particularly fleeting in retrospect. (It always seems like I'm either pandering to some nebulous fandom or pandering to some guilty pleasure.) When I ask myself, "what is the last thing I made that I can point to with pride?" I... I'm not sure? Definitely not anything from 2015. I was talking with Jono yesterday, and I think part of it is that I no longer get to use the curricular design part of my brain?
So I keep distracting myself, or letting myself be distracted. (For example, when I hit this question in writing this, I went and spent an hour dilly-dallying on the internet. That was an hour I could have spent working on Tisquantum.)
Keep friendships fruitful. Between my HS friends, college friends, teacher friends, and now my online friends, that's a lot of people I can neglect! I shouldn't do that. But I shouldn't drive myself insane trying to maintain all of those relationships, either. I think I want to take a Daoist attitude towards it.
B. I've kept moderately up to date with various friends, with the exception of my teacher friends and UCJAS folks. That ... is a pity. It's just that the longer I'm away from school, the more foreign it feels. :( That said, I love our comics club, and I love our taiko group, and we've had a good bunch of folks visit. So... some wins, some losses.
Overall: B. :/
-----
2016 Resolutions
Be more focused. I can be productive when I'm focused, and I used to be much better at this. I think part of this will involve facing my creative frustrations more directly. And part of this will involve being more discriminating with how I spend my time on the internet -- less taking the lazy/easy path of reading a fic or scrolling through tumblr (so many temporary highs), and more purposeful work.
Do good for the baby, myself, and the fams. Rutabaga is dropping late March, after which is the physical recovery process which is so important for Chinese. Life will kind of take a break then, and in a way, reset. I'm hoping that the reset process will go well, not just for myself, but also for Jono, my parents, etc. I feel like this will be the primary focus for at least the first half of 2016. I'm not aiming for perfection or success, but I should make an earnest effort of it.
Look at teaching opportunities. By this time next year, Rutabaga will be 8 months old! The timing is a bit awkward re: teaching job search, but I should look into part-time opportunities that maybe start in the middle of the next school year. And also start getting back in touch with school stuff and not just hiding in a corner like a shy gazelle.
Diagnose the creativity problem. Is it that I don't feel creatively satisfied with comics in general? Is it an art rut or a storytelling rut or something else entirely? Does it mean I should experiment more? Or stick to my guns and finish what I've started? Is it simply a case of not being focused enough and not drawing enough? Or is there a larger creative sense of ennui that I need to ferret out? Anyways, I should try to diagnose this.