summercomfort (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
summercomfort) wrote2014-04-23 12:33 am
summercomfort) wrote2014-04-23 12:33 am
Every day, you walk with stonger step, you walk with longer step
So.... first 2 days back at school.
I've told my principal that I need to either teach 0 or 1 class next year (I want to not inconvenience him too much -- it might be that he'll hire someone new, which would mean 0 classes, or it might be that he'll re-distribute the classes amongst other teachers, which might mean 1 class.)
So I guess I've taken the big leap, except in a small way? Already I'm going "shit, this would mean I won't be able to do x, y, and z next year," which just goes to show how hard it is to extricate oneself from such an all-consuming job.
I have most of my wrist function back, although I've been trying not to draw more than 2 hrs a day. Between that and the fandom distractions, I might have to go to once-a-week updates for a week or two to catch up again.
I'm still trying to slowly ease myself out of Captain America fandom. It's been a really heady experience, and it definitely provided a sense of camaraderie with random internet people that I didn't know I missed. I felt like I was back in high school again, in a good way. I really liked the energy of shared creative focus -- I unfortunately don't have that in other parts of my life right now (Tisquantum is a long loner project. I guess I do some collaboration at school, but it's creative in a different way.) Given that I'll be leaving school soon, I need to work to create or join some sort of community with a shared creative focus.
I'm also trying to reach a point where I'm open and comfortable with my creative work. I know it's going to take time -- it took me 2-3 years as a teacher to be able to say, "yeah, come into my classroom whenever you want" or to really *own* my grading philosophy. This is not to say I think I'm the perfect teacher -- I know there's a lot that I can work on, but in terms of teaching, I'm at a point where I no longer feel vulnerable like a baby gazelle. As a teacher, I'm no longer trying to curry recognition, nor does every snub feel like a judgment on my person. Feedback is feedback. Goals are goals. Nothing more, nothing less.
I'm not at that point re: comics, but I'm hoping to slowly work toward that. Recently you've seen a lot of emotional and mental flailing. Although these insecurities and pretensions are part of the process, they also distract from doing good creative work.
Tisquantum is a slow process.
Growth is a slow process.
But every day I can take a stronger step, a longer step.
I've told my principal that I need to either teach 0 or 1 class next year (I want to not inconvenience him too much -- it might be that he'll hire someone new, which would mean 0 classes, or it might be that he'll re-distribute the classes amongst other teachers, which might mean 1 class.)
So I guess I've taken the big leap, except in a small way? Already I'm going "shit, this would mean I won't be able to do x, y, and z next year," which just goes to show how hard it is to extricate oneself from such an all-consuming job.
I have most of my wrist function back, although I've been trying not to draw more than 2 hrs a day. Between that and the fandom distractions, I might have to go to once-a-week updates for a week or two to catch up again.
I'm still trying to slowly ease myself out of Captain America fandom. It's been a really heady experience, and it definitely provided a sense of camaraderie with random internet people that I didn't know I missed. I felt like I was back in high school again, in a good way. I really liked the energy of shared creative focus -- I unfortunately don't have that in other parts of my life right now (Tisquantum is a long loner project. I guess I do some collaboration at school, but it's creative in a different way.) Given that I'll be leaving school soon, I need to work to create or join some sort of community with a shared creative focus.
I'm also trying to reach a point where I'm open and comfortable with my creative work. I know it's going to take time -- it took me 2-3 years as a teacher to be able to say, "yeah, come into my classroom whenever you want" or to really *own* my grading philosophy. This is not to say I think I'm the perfect teacher -- I know there's a lot that I can work on, but in terms of teaching, I'm at a point where I no longer feel vulnerable like a baby gazelle. As a teacher, I'm no longer trying to curry recognition, nor does every snub feel like a judgment on my person. Feedback is feedback. Goals are goals. Nothing more, nothing less.
I'm not at that point re: comics, but I'm hoping to slowly work toward that. Recently you've seen a lot of emotional and mental flailing. Although these insecurities and pretensions are part of the process, they also distract from doing good creative work.
Tisquantum is a slow process.
Growth is a slow process.
But every day I can take a stronger step, a longer step.
no subject
I really suck at being stuck at home for extended periods (school breaks = FAIL).
While taking care of Toodlepants will be a major and ongoing endeavor, I know that I need to plan for the active maintenance of my sanity. Unfortunately for me, I don't have a capital "h" Hobby (like webcomicking) clamoring to take over my life. Most of my hobbies and obsessions are passive (reading, watching shows, collecting school ideas on pinterest) and solitary. What I need is something active or creative and directed outward. I just don't know what.
no subject
Is Toodlepants the official name? Toodlepants Raquet does have a nice ring to it...
Webcomicking wasn't a capital H hobby until I decided to make it one. I basically asked myself, "which of my hobbies can I make the most unique contribution to?" That basically cut out knitting and sewing.
You might consider doing some contract work for school? Help develop some materials, or run a training session, or maintain the website...
no subject
Toodlepants is what I call the baby in my belly, because it makes us laugh when having conversations about funny imagined future baby things. Like, "Sorry, Toodlepants, you can cry all you want, but we're still not going to let you eat mudpies. Or the worms."
I dunno if IPS does contract work. It's massive on a crazy scale.
Btw, The Children's Museum of Indianapolis is hosting the terra cotta warriors and opening Take Me There China, and I'm stoked!