This started as a simple to-do list.

[summercomfort]

Woo! It's the Year of the Horse! My dad made a lot of food, and I've been keeping busy. I've also been pretty sleepy/low energy the last few days, so very little got done comic-wise. :(. The last few days were my implantation days, if that were happening, so maybe it was successful? Well, I'm almost done with this round's suspense (man, this pregnancy business is 1 week of period + 1 week of "am I gonna ovulate?" followed by 2 weeks of "did I make a blastocyst? Is it gonna implant?"), so at the very least next Friday the mystery will be solved. I think one of the most frustrating things about this process is that there's no way for me to get spoilers. :(

Also, 3 people I know have recently gotten pregnant, and I'm really happy for them! At first I was a bit sad because I keep trying and losing, so seeing other people pregnant brings up complicated feelings. But then I decided that
(a) I think this miscarriage process has made Jono better mentally prepared for having a kid,
(b) I shouldn't compare myself to other people -- I'm like the special needs kid in the class, and I just have to be patient and take my time. 笨鸟先飞 (the dumb bird needs to start trying to fly earlier) and all that, and
(c) I need to separate the feeling of frustration that comes from repeatedly failing at a task and the feeling of frustration that comes from not being pregnant. Being pregnant and having a kid is actually really scary and life-changing, and I definitely have my doubts! In my clearer moments I've decided that my desire for a kid is worth exactly 1 year of flying moratorium, and really, any additional feelings of frustration comes from not accomplishing something, and not from actual desire to have baby. In a few months I'll be at 2.5 yrs of trying, and I'll stop trying, regardless of success/failure.

Anyways, now I can feel genuinely happy for everyone! Yay! You gals are gonna have awesome babies and your spouses are gonna be awesome dads! And I'll buy lots of fun kids toys and speak Chinese to (some of) them!!

So today I woke up with more energy. What does it mean? Unfortunately, I don't know, because there's no spoilers. I just have to wait for the big reveal. I guess in the mean time, a to do list!

Before 11:45am
- buy Chinese medicine and cook it.
- send package to Wyoming
- make laminated sheet for Chinese school

11:45-5:30 - work at Chinese School

5:30-7pm
- buy toilet cleaner brush
- buy better trashcan
- tidy up apartment
- pick up Jono

after 7pm
- dinner!
- finish up comic wording.
- laundry

Comments

[catastrophy]

We were super lucky to get pregnant quickly. The whole thing was really flying by the seat of our pants. We were moving and the window for a summer due date was ending and we had to decide if we were gonna try this year or wait. So we decided to try for it with just a cycle or two left.
My cycle has always been banally predictable, though, and that was a great help for us.

I know how much you luvs teh spoilers, Sush! I'm sorry you can't find any for pregnancy. The only advice I have is to eschew the "early results" pregnancy tests because their accuracy charts are Hulk-tantrum-inducingly-terrible. (Srsly, look at the numbers. You're better off flipping a coin.)

[summercomfort]

I've actually had a lot of good luck with the early pregnancy tests -- it was able to measure my hCG level very well. The main problem right now is that I don't seem to be implanting. Whelp!

[summercomfort]

Related, what sucks for me right now is that I get random waves of nausea every day -- without being pregnant. :/ And both the western doctor and the Chinese doctor are much help about that. They're just like "whelp, your hormones are special."

Gonna start looking at adoption stuff come April.