summercomfort (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
summercomfort) wrote2013-03-06 01:17 pm
summercomfort) wrote2013-03-06 01:17 pm
In which no metaphors are used
I've had irregular periods forever, and mom wanted to help me fix that, so...
Apr 2011, my Chinese medicine doctor advises me to start taking Basal Body Temperature. Ideal BBT would be low until ovulation, and then high until menstruation. For me, it was all over the place.
Nov 2011, we figure out that I've been using an inaccurate thermometer, so we start over. It's still all over the place.
January 2012 was when we decided, "hey, having a baby wouldn't be the end of the world, but we shouldn't try super hard or anything."
long, long, LONG account of my many medical travails
May 2012, my Chinese medicine doctor said, "I think we may have a problem: you might not be ovulating, and you might have a weird symptom-light version of PCOS, go get your blood checked with the Western Doctor." (Me: WTF? It took a year to figure this out?)
I go to the Western Doctor, which I dislike, because every new Western Doctor, upon hearing my long history of issues, says 2 things: "Have you tried losing weight?" and "We need to put you on birth control." Blegh. I feel like I eat healthy and have no body image issues, and I am totally against hormonal anything.
But anyway, this time, after the usual bevy of tests, the Western Doctor said: "Sure, I'll diagnose it as PCOS -- you have a lot of free testosterone in your body and your ovarian follicles aren't maturing. Normally I'd prescribe birth control, but since you want to get pregnant, I can't. (Me: Yes!) You should really try losing some weight -- for some non-ovulating women, just a few pounds could help." Then she outlined a plan to chemically induce ovulation using clomid, which was the same thing that my Chinese Medicine Doctor recommended.
June 2012, I leave both doctors and go to traveling the world.
July 2012, I'm back in China, and go see a Western Medicine Doctor. She said: "You need to lose weight and if you were here for longer than a month, we'd put you on birth control. But since you're not, we'll induce ovulation and hope for the best. (Me: Yes!)" (The good thing about Chinese hospitals is that you can get same-day ultrasounds that reports specialized information like uterine lining thickness, ovary follicle size, etc) I ovulate, but didn't get pregnant. This was my first taste of the Uncertainty.
Sept 2012, I'm back in the US, and see my Chinese Medicine Doctor again. He said: "Your stats from the summer look pretty promising, except that: (1) your uterine lining is too thin (me: that's even a thing??!), (2) your BBT is still can't get it up, and (3) your body needs to take a break from using all these pills."
At the same time, I also went to a new Western Doctor (b/c I switched to Kaiser), who basically said "Wait, you don't naturally ovulate? You need to go to a specialist. Here are 14 pages of forms to fill out ahead of time and make sure to bring your husband with you."
Taking a Break
That was the last straw. I decided to "take a break" from both my Western and Chinese Medicine doctors. The Western doctor specialist stuff sounded really scary. I was worried that once I got on the baby train, they're going to poke me and prod me and pump me full of drugs until baby happens. The Chinese medicine doctor is really nice, but it'd been about a year and a half with this one (and this doctor was the 5th I'd seen). Plus I'd gotten really busy at school, and didn't really have time to think about this stuff.
At around the same time, I got a new smart phone (thanks to Virgin Mobile's super-reasonable phone plan), and found 2 apps --
OvuView helps keep track of BBT, and uses the information to predict day of ovulation and day of menstruation.
Noom is a general-purpose health app that has a pedometer, a food and exercise tracker, and daily health-related articles.
So I decide: "Hey, all those Western doctors keep telling me to lose weight. I guess there's no harm in losing a few lbs." The process was so un-hard-core that it's barely worth mentioning. I basically ate twice the vegetables and only half the bread/rice that I'd usually eat, and aimed for at least 5000 steps of walking per day. (Totally gave up on food and exercise tracking after about a week). I also moved the chocolate upstairs so that it's harder to get to.
Shit gets less crazy
December 2012, I'd lost 5 lbs, and my BBT started being less crazy, to the point where OvuView started predicting ovulation and menstruation. My ovulation time was still a bit sketchy, and my periods were so light as to be barely noticeable, but hey... something was happening. It was baffling ... could it have been that easy all along? After all of the medicines and doctors visits, both Chinese and Western ... all it took was losing a few pounds?
Timing things was still a problem, especially since the ovulation time was never *quite* on schedule. But at least ovulation is happening?
The most frustrating thing about this whole experience, is the UNCERTAINTY. There's the 5 days around ovulation time of "is this the right time? Is it going to work? Oh shit, is this ovulation spotting or is my uterine lining abandoning me?" Then there's 10 days of just twiddling my thumbs, followed by 5 days of complete ambiguity -- all the physical signs in those 5 days could be EITHER "you're pregnant!" OR "you're so not pregnant!" It felt like being an auger of your own body. Are these cramps implantation cramps, or menstrual cramps? Is this spotting menstrual spotting, or implantation spotting? Is 36.8 a high BBT or a low one? This continues until either the period happens, or, more common in my case, I give up and pretend some spotting counts as a period.
On the one hand, considering all of the factors that had to be aligned to make it happen ... the ovarian follicle had to mature ... there had to be sperm chillin' in the fallopian tube at that time ... the resulting blastocyst has to wander down to the uterus ... the uterine lining has to be thick enough for implantation... it's kind of amazing that babies happen at all. But on the other hand, hope springs eternal. :/ It's total emotional whiplash, and let's just say that getting a period is kind of a crappy consolation prize.
By February 2013, it's been half a year of this frustration of uncertainty. Jono and I were both sick in February, so I was like, "not gonna happen this month". But then my BBT went up and stayed up! And then I got weird stomach cramps, so I was like, "implantation??! but it's 2 days too late!" 4 days later, which is last Friday, I got weird stomach cramps *again*, so I was like, "????? do I have ectoplasm?". At the same time, OvuView decided to re-calculate ovulation and menstruation predictions to be a week later, so I was like, "Am I on day 15 after ovulation, or Day 7 after ovulation??" So I go see my regular doctor, and we do a blood test. The blood test for pregnancy came back as "Inconclusive." .... WTF?
It turns out that pregnancy tests, whether blood test or urine test, measures the amount of HCG in your body. Ignoring the units, bascially HCG doubles every 2 days or so until 1600 units. When you have <5, you're not pregnant, and when you have >25, you're pregnant. I was in the 5-25 range last Friday, hence, "inconclusive" -- it could go back down, in which case the implantation was unsuccessful, or it could go up, and I can form babby. So even though pregnancy is often seen as a "2 lines=yes, 1 line=no" dichotomy, it's actually more like "faint line = maybe, stronger line = more likely". This is not accounting for the sensitivity of various pregnancy tests -- some don't trigger until 100 units of HCG, and others trigger at 10 units. In attempting to get all the data to make sense, I'm guessing that I might have ovulated on Feb 21st? (But then what's the deal with the positive ovulation test a week earlier?)
I've been using a super sensitive test every 2 days since Friday, and the line has been getting stronger, though it's still not as clear as I think it should be, so now I can say I'm 80% certain that I'm pregnant. I've scheduled an appointment with a new ob/gyn for next Tuesday, which should confirm it.
So I think the moral of the story is (1) give up on doctors for a while, (2) flail about wildly and get sick lots, and (3) smart phone apps can be helpful sometimes.
Apr 2011, my Chinese medicine doctor advises me to start taking Basal Body Temperature. Ideal BBT would be low until ovulation, and then high until menstruation. For me, it was all over the place.
Nov 2011, we figure out that I've been using an inaccurate thermometer, so we start over. It's still all over the place.
January 2012 was when we decided, "hey, having a baby wouldn't be the end of the world, but we shouldn't try super hard or anything."
long, long, LONG account of my many medical travails
May 2012, my Chinese medicine doctor said, "I think we may have a problem: you might not be ovulating, and you might have a weird symptom-light version of PCOS, go get your blood checked with the Western Doctor." (Me: WTF? It took a year to figure this out?)
I go to the Western Doctor, which I dislike, because every new Western Doctor, upon hearing my long history of issues, says 2 things: "Have you tried losing weight?" and "We need to put you on birth control." Blegh. I feel like I eat healthy and have no body image issues, and I am totally against hormonal anything.
But anyway, this time, after the usual bevy of tests, the Western Doctor said: "Sure, I'll diagnose it as PCOS -- you have a lot of free testosterone in your body and your ovarian follicles aren't maturing. Normally I'd prescribe birth control, but since you want to get pregnant, I can't. (Me: Yes!) You should really try losing some weight -- for some non-ovulating women, just a few pounds could help." Then she outlined a plan to chemically induce ovulation using clomid, which was the same thing that my Chinese Medicine Doctor recommended.
June 2012, I leave both doctors and go to traveling the world.
July 2012, I'm back in China, and go see a Western Medicine Doctor. She said: "You need to lose weight and if you were here for longer than a month, we'd put you on birth control. But since you're not, we'll induce ovulation and hope for the best. (Me: Yes!)" (The good thing about Chinese hospitals is that you can get same-day ultrasounds that reports specialized information like uterine lining thickness, ovary follicle size, etc) I ovulate, but didn't get pregnant. This was my first taste of the Uncertainty.
Sept 2012, I'm back in the US, and see my Chinese Medicine Doctor again. He said: "Your stats from the summer look pretty promising, except that: (1) your uterine lining is too thin (me: that's even a thing??!), (2) your BBT is still can't get it up, and (3) your body needs to take a break from using all these pills."
At the same time, I also went to a new Western Doctor (b/c I switched to Kaiser), who basically said "Wait, you don't naturally ovulate? You need to go to a specialist. Here are 14 pages of forms to fill out ahead of time and make sure to bring your husband with you."
Taking a Break
That was the last straw. I decided to "take a break" from both my Western and Chinese Medicine doctors. The Western doctor specialist stuff sounded really scary. I was worried that once I got on the baby train, they're going to poke me and prod me and pump me full of drugs until baby happens. The Chinese medicine doctor is really nice, but it'd been about a year and a half with this one (and this doctor was the 5th I'd seen). Plus I'd gotten really busy at school, and didn't really have time to think about this stuff.
At around the same time, I got a new smart phone (thanks to Virgin Mobile's super-reasonable phone plan), and found 2 apps --
OvuView helps keep track of BBT, and uses the information to predict day of ovulation and day of menstruation.
Noom is a general-purpose health app that has a pedometer, a food and exercise tracker, and daily health-related articles.
So I decide: "Hey, all those Western doctors keep telling me to lose weight. I guess there's no harm in losing a few lbs." The process was so un-hard-core that it's barely worth mentioning. I basically ate twice the vegetables and only half the bread/rice that I'd usually eat, and aimed for at least 5000 steps of walking per day. (Totally gave up on food and exercise tracking after about a week). I also moved the chocolate upstairs so that it's harder to get to.
Shit gets less crazy
December 2012, I'd lost 5 lbs, and my BBT started being less crazy, to the point where OvuView started predicting ovulation and menstruation. My ovulation time was still a bit sketchy, and my periods were so light as to be barely noticeable, but hey... something was happening. It was baffling ... could it have been that easy all along? After all of the medicines and doctors visits, both Chinese and Western ... all it took was losing a few pounds?
Timing things was still a problem, especially since the ovulation time was never *quite* on schedule. But at least ovulation is happening?
The most frustrating thing about this whole experience, is the UNCERTAINTY. There's the 5 days around ovulation time of "is this the right time? Is it going to work? Oh shit, is this ovulation spotting or is my uterine lining abandoning me?" Then there's 10 days of just twiddling my thumbs, followed by 5 days of complete ambiguity -- all the physical signs in those 5 days could be EITHER "you're pregnant!" OR "you're so not pregnant!" It felt like being an auger of your own body. Are these cramps implantation cramps, or menstrual cramps? Is this spotting menstrual spotting, or implantation spotting? Is 36.8 a high BBT or a low one? This continues until either the period happens, or, more common in my case, I give up and pretend some spotting counts as a period.
On the one hand, considering all of the factors that had to be aligned to make it happen ... the ovarian follicle had to mature ... there had to be sperm chillin' in the fallopian tube at that time ... the resulting blastocyst has to wander down to the uterus ... the uterine lining has to be thick enough for implantation... it's kind of amazing that babies happen at all. But on the other hand, hope springs eternal. :/ It's total emotional whiplash, and let's just say that getting a period is kind of a crappy consolation prize.
By February 2013, it's been half a year of this frustration of uncertainty. Jono and I were both sick in February, so I was like, "not gonna happen this month". But then my BBT went up and stayed up! And then I got weird stomach cramps, so I was like, "implantation??! but it's 2 days too late!" 4 days later, which is last Friday, I got weird stomach cramps *again*, so I was like, "????? do I have ectoplasm?". At the same time, OvuView decided to re-calculate ovulation and menstruation predictions to be a week later, so I was like, "Am I on day 15 after ovulation, or Day 7 after ovulation??" So I go see my regular doctor, and we do a blood test. The blood test for pregnancy came back as "Inconclusive." .... WTF?
It turns out that pregnancy tests, whether blood test or urine test, measures the amount of HCG in your body. Ignoring the units, bascially HCG doubles every 2 days or so until 1600 units. When you have <5, you're not pregnant, and when you have >25, you're pregnant. I was in the 5-25 range last Friday, hence, "inconclusive" -- it could go back down, in which case the implantation was unsuccessful, or it could go up, and I can form babby. So even though pregnancy is often seen as a "2 lines=yes, 1 line=no" dichotomy, it's actually more like "faint line = maybe, stronger line = more likely". This is not accounting for the sensitivity of various pregnancy tests -- some don't trigger until 100 units of HCG, and others trigger at 10 units. In attempting to get all the data to make sense, I'm guessing that I might have ovulated on Feb 21st? (But then what's the deal with the positive ovulation test a week earlier?)
I've been using a super sensitive test every 2 days since Friday, and the line has been getting stronger, though it's still not as clear as I think it should be, so now I can say I'm 80% certain that I'm pregnant. I've scheduled an appointment with a new ob/gyn for next Tuesday, which should confirm it.
So I think the moral of the story is (1) give up on doctors for a while, (2) flail about wildly and get sick lots, and (3) smart phone apps can be helpful sometimes.
no subject
"Babbies are formed through a long process of confusion, flailing, illness and smartphone apps."
I'm sorry to hear it's been this a;sldghsklaj;dhg for you... hopefully you'll have your 100% soon!