summercomfort (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
summercomfort) wrote2007-10-10 11:34 pm
summercomfort) wrote2007-10-10 11:34 pm
(no subject)
um.... Hana Kimi... your ending is .... ::cough:: yeah. I know the whole point is that maybe this secret love thing is pretty awesome, and it does keep up the sexual tension, but what a flaky ending. :/ It's funny to read all the pissed-off comments on YouTube, though.
::sigh:: Maybe this is why I generally stay off the hard-core shoujo. It's a very warped sense of how relationships should work and how boys and girls should behave. Sometimes I think about love and relationships and suchlike. And I guess these thoughts have changed over the years. When I was in elementary school, I admired people who were smart and could run really fast. Middle school was pretty clueless. In high school, my evaluation was really for someone that I didn't feel awkward and stupid around, but I hung out with a pretty solidly "girl" group, and so it wasn't really part of anything. Plus I figured high school relationships don't really last, so I didn't think about it too much.
In college, I came up with a "3 elements of a successful relationship" thing -- Compatibility (interests, personality, sleeping and dishwashing habits), Physical attraction (hot or not?), and Love (the ephemeral thing that can compensate for imperfection in the other categories). The first two are not difficult to figure out, but I was really stumped by this love thing. Friends who couldn't stand each other, but who love each other. Or vice versa. And it doesn't really work without a little bit love. But that didn't really help me navigate relationships.
But anyway, I got all confused during college, getting caught up in things that meant more than I thought it did, and other things that meant much less. After last year, though, I feel like I have a better idea of what I'm looking for. Not a secret love like Hana Kimi and so many of those other shoujo anime, but a relationship. 过日子, in a way. I guess my current measure is "How much would I be willing to change my life for that person?" (And vice versa). Would I be willing to move across the country? To a different continent? Switch jobs? Change my lifestyle? Do I find enough joy and excitement in the relationship alone that outweighs the environment and other things? To think that my father gave up a successful and fun job in Shanghai to come to America to be with mom. Wow. For me, it has to be someone who I can be relaxed around, but also someone who energizes me. Someone with intellectual curiosity. Someone who is geeky about *something*, has knowledge of a second language, and someone who can find joy in odd places. Plus sexual compatibility.
And I think that's what makes things like Hana Kimi and Kimi wa pet work. It places people in relationships that side-steps the "dating" phase and jumps to the "what are we willing to do for each other" thing. The life and relationship of their "roommate" status is much more comfortable than the whole "I'll make bento for you" thing. Frankly, it works better this way, especially given the shoujo social expectations otherwise.
::sigh:: Maybe this is why I generally stay off the hard-core shoujo. It's a very warped sense of how relationships should work and how boys and girls should behave. Sometimes I think about love and relationships and suchlike. And I guess these thoughts have changed over the years. When I was in elementary school, I admired people who were smart and could run really fast. Middle school was pretty clueless. In high school, my evaluation was really for someone that I didn't feel awkward and stupid around, but I hung out with a pretty solidly "girl" group, and so it wasn't really part of anything. Plus I figured high school relationships don't really last, so I didn't think about it too much.
In college, I came up with a "3 elements of a successful relationship" thing -- Compatibility (interests, personality, sleeping and dishwashing habits), Physical attraction (hot or not?), and Love (the ephemeral thing that can compensate for imperfection in the other categories). The first two are not difficult to figure out, but I was really stumped by this love thing. Friends who couldn't stand each other, but who love each other. Or vice versa. And it doesn't really work without a little bit love. But that didn't really help me navigate relationships.
But anyway, I got all confused during college, getting caught up in things that meant more than I thought it did, and other things that meant much less. After last year, though, I feel like I have a better idea of what I'm looking for. Not a secret love like Hana Kimi and so many of those other shoujo anime, but a relationship. 过日子, in a way. I guess my current measure is "How much would I be willing to change my life for that person?" (And vice versa). Would I be willing to move across the country? To a different continent? Switch jobs? Change my lifestyle? Do I find enough joy and excitement in the relationship alone that outweighs the environment and other things? To think that my father gave up a successful and fun job in Shanghai to come to America to be with mom. Wow. For me, it has to be someone who I can be relaxed around, but also someone who energizes me. Someone with intellectual curiosity. Someone who is geeky about *something*, has knowledge of a second language, and someone who can find joy in odd places. Plus sexual compatibility.
And I think that's what makes things like Hana Kimi and Kimi wa pet work. It places people in relationships that side-steps the "dating" phase and jumps to the "what are we willing to do for each other" thing. The life and relationship of their "roommate" status is much more comfortable than the whole "I'll make bento for you" thing. Frankly, it works better this way, especially given the shoujo social expectations otherwise.