summercomfort (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
summercomfort) wrote2006-09-09 01:32 am
summercomfort) wrote2006-09-09 01:32 am
Half Nelson
So I just went to watch Half Nelson. It's a very depressing movie. It's depressing because, like HachiKuro, it's shows with real issues, real people, but unlike Hachikuro, offers no heart-warming (if complicated) ganbarus. There's nothing that really says, "it's okay, you can deal with it". In fact, it's about a guy who can't. Well, there is hope, and mutual understanding at the end, but no cheerful resolve. Just a failed joke.
Wow, um... I just made the lj cut and then dad showed up at my door, and it was 9:20. Now it's 1:10 and I don't remember what I was gonna say. Well, here's some ways it was really depressing
- depressing in the helplessness. The climax where the teacher and the girl were like "we shouldn't be here in this position", but they are, and they carry through with the transaction.
- depressing in the silences and the failure to understand. When the teacher goes home to have dinner with his family, it hits you, white middle-classness, and how much they don't get the teacher's life, or the students' life. How different the expectations are when confronted with reality. Breakdown of communication everywhere.
- depressing in the loneliness of the teacher. Everyone moving on except him, stuck in this limbo, the cycle of teaching.
- depressing in the struggle for sanity, for purpose, for something besides the daily drudgery. "There's always summer" is like the most hopeless phrase ever. He's trying to draw a book, but it's so easy to do something else. Whenever he gets stoned he talks about how futile it is to just change one person.
But the reason it's depressing is that I'm scared that that's what I'm going to turn into. Sure, I won't take drugs or anything, but who's to say the internet doesn't serve the same purpose? I'm afraid of stagnation, I'm afraid of futility. I go through cycles of being good and getting things accomplished, and then just wallowing. I need alone time right now, but don't want alone time forever. And I wonder if anything I do has a purpose. But really, it's all the same gripe. I'm sure if you go back in my LJ 4 yrs ago, it'd be exactly the same struggle, the same desires. wtf, man?
Anyways, good but depressing movie. Also, made such a big deal of the uber-close shots.
Today, I went to work, did observations, came home and relaxed, took a nap, ate dinner, went to a movie, chatted with dad about racism (racism against blacks is class-based. We assume they're poor and uneducated. With Asians, it's immigration based. We assume they're FOB and uncultured,) chatted with brother about historical thinking, constructs of empire, and set up a hw schedule.
Tomorrow I have acupuncture at 10:30, and then visiting the Clara Daniel in Berkeley (getting there around 1pm, leaving there around 3-4-ish?), then after dinner, picking up the Jeremy Cat at the airport.
Wow, um... I just made the lj cut and then dad showed up at my door, and it was 9:20. Now it's 1:10 and I don't remember what I was gonna say. Well, here's some ways it was really depressing
- depressing in the helplessness. The climax where the teacher and the girl were like "we shouldn't be here in this position", but they are, and they carry through with the transaction.
- depressing in the silences and the failure to understand. When the teacher goes home to have dinner with his family, it hits you, white middle-classness, and how much they don't get the teacher's life, or the students' life. How different the expectations are when confronted with reality. Breakdown of communication everywhere.
- depressing in the loneliness of the teacher. Everyone moving on except him, stuck in this limbo, the cycle of teaching.
- depressing in the struggle for sanity, for purpose, for something besides the daily drudgery. "There's always summer" is like the most hopeless phrase ever. He's trying to draw a book, but it's so easy to do something else. Whenever he gets stoned he talks about how futile it is to just change one person.
But the reason it's depressing is that I'm scared that that's what I'm going to turn into. Sure, I won't take drugs or anything, but who's to say the internet doesn't serve the same purpose? I'm afraid of stagnation, I'm afraid of futility. I go through cycles of being good and getting things accomplished, and then just wallowing. I need alone time right now, but don't want alone time forever. And I wonder if anything I do has a purpose. But really, it's all the same gripe. I'm sure if you go back in my LJ 4 yrs ago, it'd be exactly the same struggle, the same desires. wtf, man?
Anyways, good but depressing movie. Also, made such a big deal of the uber-close shots.
Today, I went to work, did observations, came home and relaxed, took a nap, ate dinner, went to a movie, chatted with dad about racism (racism against blacks is class-based. We assume they're poor and uneducated. With Asians, it's immigration based. We assume they're FOB and uncultured,) chatted with brother about historical thinking, constructs of empire, and set up a hw schedule.
Tomorrow I have acupuncture at 10:30, and then visiting the Clara Daniel in Berkeley (getting there around 1pm, leaving there around 3-4-ish?), then after dinner, picking up the Jeremy Cat at the airport.
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btw, i'm down to 2 sticks a day.. i will quit completely right after the LSAT!
how are your friends from chicago?
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Yay on the 2 sticks a day!
They're sleeping in the garage. It's nice to see them after so long. :D
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