summercomfort | Priorities... hah.

I've been cranky for one reason or another lately, and it hit me at around 1am tonight that one of the reasons is that I put others' priorities above mine. The reason why my priorities are shot to pieces is because I spend all of my time doing things so that other people can keep their priorities straight. I'll do this stuff so that you can do your top priority school stuff. Forget about the fact that I have to do that, too. And write a paper. Sacrificing greater consciousness so that more people can have more immediate fun. I'm not against having fun. It's inefficiency in the face of looming deadlines. Sure we have fun, but it just makes things worse afterwards. Of course I'm at fault, too. I ask people for help, but if you decline the first time, then I just shut up and won't ask you again, since you probably have your reasons, and I understand that. It's okay that you're overstressed, you're depressed, you're tired and sick, or it's none of your business. You should know my life well enough to know what needs to be done, so if you could have/wanted to help, you would have. I don't need reassurrances of "you'll get it done", I need someone to say, "okay, so you have a paper tonight. Don't worry about club today". Or actually, I need to be more agressive and say, "leave me alone, I gots work". So that's what I'll say right now: I'm tired of picking up other people's priorities, you guys deal with it yourself. I'll do my share, but no more than that, and *after* everything else, so meh. I know there's no one to delegate to because everyone's too busy, but if everyone does just a little bit, then there's no need for a few people to do everything and die.

(If you couldn't tell, it's been a very frustrating weekend. Not un-fun, but also very frustrating.)

Priorities... hah.

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