summercomfort (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
summercomfort) wrote2003-11-24 12:44 am
summercomfort) wrote2003-11-24 12:44 am
Things on my mind....
I have nails. I personally like having semi-longish nails. (yes, I do have my small vanities: nail polish, the fact that I don't have to shave my legs, and the fact that I non-Azn hair.) However, they are getting in the way of typing. I can either clip them, or get used to typing without my flesh touching the keyboard. :D
But anyway, today I stopped by the Chinese School at Cobb because I got to Calligraphy Club early. (We're on the first floor, they're on the second). There was only one woman left, so I asked her about the principal, intending to offer my services. They're a cute little school. Anyway, I got to talking about how I used to work for this other Chinese School, and the woman (who turns out to be a main teacher) expressed discontent at their current curriculum (JiNan + misc), so of course I talk about our coolness, and give her our website. So yes, it ended up being me semi-whoring myself, but also semi-pimping scs at the same time. It's also bizarre to realize that it is only when talking about Chinese School stuff that my Chinese is the most unhindered and fluent. And so realization strikes me:
1) I'm in UChicago partly to escape Chinese School
2) I love Chinese School
3) Which means it was really to escape the pressure of Having To Go To Chinese School, which has dissippated since this summer (acquiring driving privilege and dealing with some issues of self will and assumptions of sweatshop labor w/ my father)
4) Does my love for educationy things and social sciency things come from my background/family? Sure, I do want to pick up the Chinese School business, and I really like this stuff, but what would I really be doing with my life if Chinese School didn't exist?
Ah, the sticky issues of self-identity.
The time has come for seeking gifts. And yet I feel out of touch with so many people.
What I really need to do right now is to 快刀斩乱麻, sit down and figure out what I really care about and what I should be ditching. But I can't. I have this fatal attraction to planning things just because it should to be done and people aren't doing it. (SMAC, being VP of Calligraphy, CS, the ep summaries for JAS) Then there's the activities that I truly enjoy because I like kids and teaching stuff (NSP, WASKP, watching anime w/o having to take notes). My creative side needs space to breathe, my practical side demands that I keep driving forward. Sometimes I feel like a combination of my parents and I don't know how to deal with it. Although my life would be much cooler if I did know how to deal w/ it.
It would be vain to expect an epiphany on my birthday. Although that'd be really nice. Maybe that'll be my holiday wish: an epiphany.
Oh yes, LotR:TTT extended made much more sense and gave the movie much more room to breathe. A lot of the cuts worked better, too. The Arwen dream scene makes much more sense, the Sons of Steward scene basically explains the whole tortuous family relationship, and they added a lot more Aragorn bg that was quite enjoyable. The homage to Tom Bombadill was nice. I understand the constriction on the Ent development, especially if you weigh Merry and Pip against the Ents, but I wish the Ents weren't characterized as such a foolish species.
I know what I need to do. Now I just have to do it. I'm such a weakling.
But anyway, today I stopped by the Chinese School at Cobb because I got to Calligraphy Club early. (We're on the first floor, they're on the second). There was only one woman left, so I asked her about the principal, intending to offer my services. They're a cute little school. Anyway, I got to talking about how I used to work for this other Chinese School, and the woman (who turns out to be a main teacher) expressed discontent at their current curriculum (JiNan + misc), so of course I talk about our coolness, and give her our website. So yes, it ended up being me semi-whoring myself, but also semi-pimping scs at the same time. It's also bizarre to realize that it is only when talking about Chinese School stuff that my Chinese is the most unhindered and fluent. And so realization strikes me:
1) I'm in UChicago partly to escape Chinese School
2) I love Chinese School
3) Which means it was really to escape the pressure of Having To Go To Chinese School, which has dissippated since this summer (acquiring driving privilege and dealing with some issues of self will and assumptions of sweatshop labor w/ my father)
4) Does my love for educationy things and social sciency things come from my background/family? Sure, I do want to pick up the Chinese School business, and I really like this stuff, but what would I really be doing with my life if Chinese School didn't exist?
Ah, the sticky issues of self-identity.
The time has come for seeking gifts. And yet I feel out of touch with so many people.
What I really need to do right now is to 快刀斩乱麻, sit down and figure out what I really care about and what I should be ditching. But I can't. I have this fatal attraction to planning things just because it should to be done and people aren't doing it. (SMAC, being VP of Calligraphy, CS, the ep summaries for JAS) Then there's the activities that I truly enjoy because I like kids and teaching stuff (NSP, WASKP, watching anime w/o having to take notes). My creative side needs space to breathe, my practical side demands that I keep driving forward. Sometimes I feel like a combination of my parents and I don't know how to deal with it. Although my life would be much cooler if I did know how to deal w/ it.
It would be vain to expect an epiphany on my birthday. Although that'd be really nice. Maybe that'll be my holiday wish: an epiphany.
Oh yes, LotR:TTT extended made much more sense and gave the movie much more room to breathe. A lot of the cuts worked better, too. The Arwen dream scene makes much more sense, the Sons of Steward scene basically explains the whole tortuous family relationship, and they added a lot more Aragorn bg that was quite enjoyable. The homage to Tom Bombadill was nice. I understand the constriction on the Ent development, especially if you weigh Merry and Pip against the Ents, but I wish the Ents weren't characterized as such a foolish species.
I know what I need to do. Now I just have to do it. I'm such a weakling.