summercomfort (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
summercomfort) wrote2023-03-08 10:58 pm
summercomfort) wrote2023-03-08 10:58 pm
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this has been a pretty good day! I was a bit late heading out the door and had a 30-min-longer commute as a result, but I did get over the procrastination hump and started grading again, which was great! Our school's South Asian student group hosted a Holi celebration, so I got to throw colors at people, which was super fun! My favorite boba place reopened after a 3 month break, so that was super exciting, too!
Creativity-wise, I finished the yellow cat comic, so the next step is to get the actual anthology laid out. This is one of those things where I feel like... if I hustle, I can probably get it printed by our April show, but ... do I *want* to hustle?
I've also started poking at old wips again and being like ... "oh, this fic wasn't working because I'm trying to juggle 2 different contradicting things." Or "oh, I really just wanted to do a short scene for this one, I don't actually want to write a whole fic". I think it's good that I'm able to identify that now -- maybe getting sleep and not working at home has been good for me?!! (gasp!) I think I'll clean up a couple of these and dump it in the wip amnesty files on AO3, and thus be able to close out a few of these open stickies...
Oh! Today I was scrolling through tumblr and came across a link to the RAADS-R test for autism. The tumblr post came with this great snippet:
So I was like, "lol, let me take it and see what happens. I'm probably like, 65 or something."
And then it turned out that I'm 124. XD;;; Clearly this is a fake test and normal people score 100 on the regular. :P
Okay actually before thoughts here are some numbers and caveats.
So, firstly, the site itself points out that there are problems with the test, such as conflating autism with a lack of compassion, etc. And as with any test, there's a bunch of questions where I'm like "my answer doesn't fit neatly into these 4 options!" But apparently the 65 point threshold is pretty legit regardless. I think that's probably because of the question spread.
Can I do a table? Let's do a table.
Basically you can score a range of 0-3 on each question, with higher number = more autism, I guess. But the question spread puts so much weight of social relatedness and sensory/motor that it probably overcomes the various other deficits, as far as the 65 point threshold goes.
Anyway, was taking the test actually helpful for me? Well, sorta, I guess. I work at such a non-neurotypical school, and I've structured my life to minimize so many minor irritants, that it's helpful to get an reminder of "oh yeah, I *am* really weirdly finicky and sensitive to random things, it's just that I've mostly removed them from my life." So... go me!
There was also a question about "I miss my best friends or family when we are apart for a long time" and I'm like ... oh. I, um, don't???? At least not really??? I'm not sure, man. Maybe I was feeling particularly misanthropic when I was taking it this morning, but I was like "why yes, I do enjoy dining alone and sometimes it takes me a while to remember how physical intimacy works". But it's something that I sometimes feel wrong-footed in. As in, I definitely enjoy people and companionship and family and friends and all that stuff, but sometimes I feel ... demi, except for interpersonal relationships? Like, it's a thing that I like and enjoy and seek out, but also, it sometimes feels like it takes a while to get the engines going, yanno? And before that, I'm acting based on intellectual awareness and not emotional craving.
Don't know if something's up with that, but regardless, what I've been doing has worked for me thus far, so I'm not particularly desiring to look for corroboration via other tests or exploring ramifications. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Creativity-wise, I finished the yellow cat comic, so the next step is to get the actual anthology laid out. This is one of those things where I feel like... if I hustle, I can probably get it printed by our April show, but ... do I *want* to hustle?
I've also started poking at old wips again and being like ... "oh, this fic wasn't working because I'm trying to juggle 2 different contradicting things." Or "oh, I really just wanted to do a short scene for this one, I don't actually want to write a whole fic". I think it's good that I'm able to identify that now -- maybe getting sleep and not working at home has been good for me?!! (gasp!) I think I'll clean up a couple of these and dump it in the wip amnesty files on AO3, and thus be able to close out a few of these open stickies...
Oh! Today I was scrolling through tumblr and came across a link to the RAADS-R test for autism. The tumblr post came with this great snippet:
The thing is. When you take the autism test. And you see your score is in the 100 to 160 range. You think. Oh this is probably the middle? Middle autism. Tinge of autism. Your relatives calling you bright but shy autism. Just a whiff of autism. And then you see the score ranges. And you go. This test is lying to me there is absolutely no way the majority of people score under 65. The 65 number is such a low cutoff and so many of these experiences are clearly universal a score under 65 is something they made up in a lab. People who score under 65 are obviously scoring just under that mark from 59 to 64 and they’re also obviously lying or purposely misrepresenting their experiences as less severe than they are. And then you find out there are real people who get a 20 or 30 or 7 on it. And you go. Ah
So I was like, "lol, let me take it and see what happens. I'm probably like, 65 or something."
And then it turned out that I'm 124. XD;;; Clearly this is a fake test and normal people score 100 on the regular. :P
Okay actually before thoughts here are some numbers and caveats.
So, firstly, the site itself points out that there are problems with the test, such as conflating autism with a lack of compassion, etc. And as with any test, there's a bunch of questions where I'm like "my answer doesn't fit neatly into these 4 options!" But apparently the 65 point threshold is pretty legit regardless. I think that's probably because of the question spread.
Can I do a table? Let's do a table.
| Type | # of questions | average neurotypical | neurotypical threshold | average autistic | me |
| Language | 7 | 2 | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| Social Relatedness | 39 | 9 | 31 | 68 | 59 |
| Sensory/Motor | 20 | 5 | 16 | 33 | 38 |
| Circumscribed Interests | 14 | 5 | 15 | 28 | 19 |
Basically you can score a range of 0-3 on each question, with higher number = more autism, I guess. But the question spread puts so much weight of social relatedness and sensory/motor that it probably overcomes the various other deficits, as far as the 65 point threshold goes.
Anyway, was taking the test actually helpful for me? Well, sorta, I guess. I work at such a non-neurotypical school, and I've structured my life to minimize so many minor irritants, that it's helpful to get an reminder of "oh yeah, I *am* really weirdly finicky and sensitive to random things, it's just that I've mostly removed them from my life." So... go me!
There was also a question about "I miss my best friends or family when we are apart for a long time" and I'm like ... oh. I, um, don't???? At least not really??? I'm not sure, man. Maybe I was feeling particularly misanthropic when I was taking it this morning, but I was like "why yes, I do enjoy dining alone and sometimes it takes me a while to remember how physical intimacy works". But it's something that I sometimes feel wrong-footed in. As in, I definitely enjoy people and companionship and family and friends and all that stuff, but sometimes I feel ... demi, except for interpersonal relationships? Like, it's a thing that I like and enjoy and seek out, but also, it sometimes feels like it takes a while to get the engines going, yanno? And before that, I'm acting based on intellectual awareness and not emotional craving.
Don't know if something's up with that, but regardless, what I've been doing has worked for me thus far, so I'm not particularly desiring to look for corroboration via other tests or exploring ramifications. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯